Secrets to Help Turn an Angry Teenager Into a Happy Teenager
Have you ever stopped to consider exactly WHY it is, that your teenager has become angry and lashes out. Did you know there is ALWAYS a reason for everything, including the change in your teenager's attitude that is causing them to be angry, resentful and not willing to help out in the home? So what causes this anger?
Well there are several contributors that are to blame. Chemicals in food and drinks that actually cause anger in people. Mood changes cause anger, there are a host of reasons, relationships breakdowns, loss of jobs, no moneys...etc. One of the biggest reasons, I will touch on here, is the way your teenager is being spoken to.
Imagine for a minute, that you were in an office and your boss, who was in authority over you, came into your space and ordered you to do this or that. It was the 'way' you're boss told you. Not so much in an angry way, but just told you have to do it 'this way'. Now this went on, day after day, month after month, and year after year. Sooner or later, you get a bit ticked off at how your boss, just keeps coming into your office or space and just tells you what to do, without any praise or genuine thanks or even recognition for the efforts and work 'you' do. Now 'how would you feel?' You would start resenting your boss? Why? Because you weren't being appreciated and valued. Pretty soon, your resentment turns to bitterness, and you start hating your boss, and it seems that he just tells you what to do even more, and the way he tells you becomes even more rude as time goes by, because your attitude to him, is getting worse. He picks up this vibe, you pick up the vibe, and it becomes a breeding ground for hostility.
From hostility all sorts of problems can arise. Now the problem is when the hostility is in the home, it is far worse, because tempers can fly and walls hold in the words that get thrown around.
Now let's take for example, a scenario, of an angry young man, comes into that office and has to work there every day. But this time you have a boss that speaks kindly. There is the same work requirements, but this boss knows the power of words and how to bring out the best in his staff by choosing his words carefully and wisely. He speaks to this angry young man who has been mistreated before, in a kind way. Now this young man was not really born an angry person, but he had felt un-appreciated and miss treated and undervalued and so he carried resentment and underling anger in his heart. He could fly into a rage if he was tipped over or pushed, though he hated conflict. But this situation was different.
This young man, though he had expressed rage and anger in the past from ugly situations, found himself in this place of work, with a kind boss who spoke to him, as if he were of value and importance. This boss, actually smiled, and put his trust and faith in him, even though the boss knew he would at some point stuff up. Wow, this boss, was cool. This boss was different. This boss was giving him wings to fly and expand and bring out the good that was deep in this angry young man's heart. This then, melted the anger, and slowly over time, this young man, grew and flourished because of the kind bosses 'attitude' to HIM and the way he believed in him. Over time this young man, rose higher in the company, and became very successful. One day this young man reflected on how his life had changed. From how he used to be very angry and bitter. He had always just been told what to do, and what not to do. He reflected on how he become so successful and what caused the change. He knew in his heart, it was the way his boss had treated him. His boss had believed in him, even though there was a high risk of him stuffing up. That's exactly the same scenario in our homes that can completely change our situations and hearts around us. It may not be a boss and employee we are talking about, but son/daughter relationship, but the lesson is the same. Turn your teenager's anger around, by changing the way you see them or speak to them.
Start to believe in them and show them this, even though you know at some point they will stuff up, because its inevitable. But its kindness that changes things and people's hearts, lives and attitudes. When people's attitudes are good, you are more inclined to get what you want. And really that's peace and happiness and respect.
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